Damn right you are! ...


It's just not easy to start conversation with you because of the age difference and the country difference and the fact that all we've ever shared is/was awkward smiles, a few innocent jokes, erm, teases.

Nothing else D:

Although I suppose I can start now right?

Right?

Haha, please don't answer. I sound like a retarded fangirl. Maybe I'm the only one who is a clingy admirer but at the same time feels that clingy admirers are yucky. Maybe I'm the only one who loves someone yet feels that it's disgusting to do so with someone you barely know -_-

...Poppycock.





I shall now commence to be not so cryptic (ZOMG) and tell you what the hell I'm rambling on about.



It's about my cousin Esther.

MMMHMM. Nod nod nod, this is why I don't let her in here see, because if she saw that I'd go as red as blood and duck behind the nearest object I can find hoping the world would swallow me up.

D: Here I am saying that I shouldn't obess over approval but here I am scared of what a person I barely know and only have a blood relation to link to THINKS OF ME.

wtf, am I going les?


And yet.

It's because she seems to have substance. Seems to. I read her blog a few months ago and I think she's cool but has a bit too much of the ditzy touch.

Then she takes that thought and gives me a full refund on it.

If there's ever a cooler person I wanted to make friends with...

well, not so desperately in recent times. But I'm dying for a strong bond between a girl (almost) my age (but the same in mental powress I assume), and that I KNOW isn't a pedophile on the Internetz. -_-"

Whywhywhy?

Eh, am I still scared that she's a homophobe?

It makes no sense. I'll never make a Christian friend like this. -rolls eyes.

I always liked her. Even in SG. Always found an excuse to sit next to her.

I. Don't. Fucking. Know. Why!

She's a dress person, I cling to jeans like a barnacle clings to a coral. She's feminine IMO, I'm not IMO. She's this, I'm that.

And yet?

I think that my adoration was due to something rather childish. Which is why I do not say how much I think that she's such a cool cousin.

Yet in subtle cases and think she has and can spot it -_-"

Maybe it's something to do with me being an only child?

I think that.

---
--
-

Hey, you're not the only one with skewed vision, as they say.

And I say skewed vision is cool.

Why the hell else do they buy those swirly glasses.

-


OK is going to shut up now.

D:

Whywhywhy do I make such a mess?

No, shut up. That's not being very nice to me.

-scuttles off slowly to play KoL-