AND This is Your Night, so




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a grand seven panels, indeed


Well, he's gone! Matt. Out the window. Poof, no more Mail Jeevas in this story [except in flashback form and perhaps...ghost? 8D]


but as much as I (not! ha) cringe to say this...
...I'm glad Matt's out of the picture...

all the M&M scenes were starting to get on me, just a little bit.
I mean, I like Mr. Goggles. He's pretty cool, but...flat. The most awesome thing he did in the whole saga was die, for god's sake. A short while after I rly liked M&M, and not M&N at all, so much so that I had trouble picking one combination over the other later. And then for the longest while I liked both pairings [I blame it on Razuri-chan's awesome drawings...xD]


and trust me, I will still always love M&M in a dead way...
I mean, look at Razuri-Chan's said sketches.
Whoever doesn't love them...
my god but they're just such pretty art my GOD?! -foams-

but after a while, I just...grew out of it. Granted, it lasted a lot longer than other (similar) pairings such as...RitsukaxSoubi...WilburxLewis... and... probably a few more that streched far before that.

Oh, it lasted a long while alright.

But I realized: not because the pairings were essentially all that much different and unique...because I irrationally loved the characters.

Now don't get me wrong: I still love Mello, to not a great extent like L or Raito...
but I never loved Matt.




D=



Nope.


I only ever liked him. Liked him more at some points than at others, but no...no fandoming over him, i'm afraid!



[however I admit my like for characters vary on the pairing I imagine them in]


...which means that if I were to take into consideration pairing MattxBB, I'd undoubtably fall in love very much so with dear Matty and come up with an actual personality for him, something he seems to be...lacking.


But MelloxMatt...I'm sorry, no,


there's just not enough chemistry.


...Hell, my darling, there's no chemistry.



[and much less, negative alchemy, I'm sorry to say.]

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((but I'm still going to be my typical hypocritc fangirl self and link you this:))




:'D


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ho de hum. School Life's been pretty mundane...except...oh!
YES.
I need to talk about that.

That little, little incident...









Generally during Lunchtime [which is an epic sixty minutes long!!!], I stay in class like a hermit crab and draw, eat, read, read, eat, draw. General routine. Occasionally I will indulge in some classmatey mucking around, or once in a blue moon, engage in religious debate.

To digress, those religious debates may have only happened twice, but god damn are they so enjoyable.

First time was with India and Tom and me, I think, with Laura in the middle of the sofa the poor girl just trying to read while India goes on with her Anglican pride stuff and Tom protesting on my right and me just loling the whole way through. Funny shit. And then I think Paul joined in a some point, but India was still 'nuuu ur religion is full of BULLSHITE and fail! rawr' and I was like '-facepalm-' in a totally amusing way, of course.

( "So why do we live?"

"None of us know that," I replied indignantly. "The reason we live is to find out why we live, humans are naturally born curious like that. Curiosity didn't kill the cat, it killed us. Religion is why we live. And we all have different religions and die for them. If we knew why we live, then we'd have no purpose to live anymore, so why do we live? You don't ask others this question. You're supposed to find the answer yourself."

"She has a point," Paul said. )

Tom is...just so very typically Christian, to me
Even the voice.

The voice, even...
It's like the honey and milk - fed voice, hardened and sweetened by the fables he's been told.
And he might have future as a pastor, because to the unstained ear, he sounds very very sincere and gently urging. It's like...He's got that Christian vibe flowing off him, y'know? (I could grow to love that (kind) of voice...)

Unfortunately my ear is very stained, haha. It's stained by (what I think is) truth and yucky-er stuff like that and I'm far too fixed in my beliefs, or rather lack of them.

heh.

Anyway, to digress even MORE, I must admit: When it comes to boys.
Oh dear lord boys...

[by the way I'm currently listening to George Carlin - Religion and it's hard to concentrate.... xD]

Anyway as I was saying.
I'm telling all you girls [...and a certain few guys...xP] ... the men here are VERY different.
Not just the appearance.

not just the frightening amount of males who like blondes [oh god WHY?! WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY]


not just the demeanor...

... okay just the demeanor.
They kind of make me disoriented D:

They're so different sometimes it hurts. I had ten thousands of crushes stacked upon each other in SG, but not here.

...well... not many, at least.

As I notioned to Thomas above, I rly like him. He's nice. He's... Actually he's rather bland for the most part. But occasionally, I will make the comment here and there [usually to get a rise out of him]. He will often respond in his own way e.g sticking his tongue out at me or punching me on the shoulder.

Which is an incredibly shocking response, you know.

First time he did something like that, I was like 'wth?!'. I couldn't and didn't want to mask the surprise in my eyes, but I just grinned at him like he was a lunatic which was odd because I probably looked like a lunatic. Which was odd because he didn't look like a lunatic, he looked insane, he was smiling so widely, and oh my god his smile.


Boys aren't supposed to be like this. Boys aren't supposed to be like this.

...The boys I know aren't supposed to be like this.

...They're not supposed to be underlyingly sweet and decent and independent and far away enough for you to want to chase them like kites and near enough for you to see the eye candy you're chasing.







Oh whatever. I'm blowing this up way out of proportion I think. I like him, but I'm not going to get myself into anything serious. And there might be simple attraction at work here, but no chemistry, no alchemy, no hate, and in conclusion no compatability as of yet.

Not in this time and age.










Speaking of boys! Josh.

I always did like Josh. :3
He's ... possibly the most unique. He's like the perfect gentleman and for that I despise him: it's not that I'm jealous it's like for fuck's sake, if I was a blonde with an hourglass figure and a sweet voice, maybe I'd get somewhere too but no.
No. Stupid conformity.

But at the same time, he doesn't conform at all. He stands out like a sore thumb, but still somehow can fit in. I can't.

maybe it's something to do with enthicity.

whatever.

point is, he's unconventionally good looking [Mega plus points+!!!] and he's sweet to a certain degrese [not so sickeningly much that he induces cavities], with a good sense of humor and he's a pretty damn fine to a point. (AND HE'S A REDHEAD♥)

but I don't like him /in that way/.

He's that kind of guy, you know? The rly good catch...Let me put it this way.

You're out fishing for tuna. And unexpectedly, you catch a salmon. A real damn FINE salmon. best one you've ever seen.

but you're looking for tuna, and there's nothing you can do with a salmon...! You adore salmon and the way they're cooked, and you appreciate the culinary genius one can cook up (hehe pun) with this particular type of fish, but... no.

Salmon doesn't float your boat, and you regard this fact sadly. You would love to be able to have salmon, but it doesn't agree with your stomach.

So what do you do? The fish is nearly dying in your grasp, and there's a fishing boat over belonging to your neighbour who's out here fishing for...


...salmon.

The pink fish wriggles out of your grasp and swims away as fast as it can [probably thinking 'GET AWAY FROM THAT BITCH QUICK ARRRRRRRRGHHHH'] and unknowingly swims into the hands of your neighbour's hook.


Your neighbour regards his prize with pride, not knowing that it was you who gave him his trophy.


Who let him win because he was the one who'd actually benefit from that victory.













which is why, when Anna came in squealing like a...girl...one lunchtime, dizzingly prancing her way through the door, I didn't complain.

...Well, not much.

'Could you kindly stop hyperventilating in my personal bubble?' I snapped.
She glanced at me briefly, and then continued hyperventilating my personal blah blah blah...

So following some curious eavesdropping, apparently Anna made her way onto Josh's 'Top Five List.' And 'Top Five List' is as specific as it gets, but anyone with half a libido can obviously infer that Josh's got [some degree of] the hots for Anna.

... yeah.

'He has a list,' I snarked. 'Typical Process Man'

Hoots of laughter followed.


As you can see, I am generally vindictive and not very nice to boys I have a crush on. This is a very bad spin off of the 'playing hard to get' tactic and also a form of denial. also a bad, bad habit.




actually, I'm both surprised and not very. I've seen Josh and Anna conversing very friendly at times.


...And, when I look back on the only one time I've actually ever had a proper fun conversation with him, I was actually quite; -

No. Wait.


Insecurity is a turn-off, Christie. Don't kick your self-esteem and libido when it's down. Bad girl.
















later, when I'd actually come up with the idea of offering to stay back and clean, dear god what has gotten into me, I lay on the round inflatable green ball, put my hands behind my head, stared at the ceiling and Mused.


'You know...
As much as I like Josh, I can't compliment his taste in women.'

Hana laughed.

s m i l e

because tonight you'll go down in style






















((Qυieт buт i'm suяe
Tнєяє is sσmetнiηg hєяє.
...




so tell me everything
'cause I want to нєar.))