( Take it back to the night we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
You were vodkas and coke, I was Guinness all night )

ughhhh not in the mood to blog, I know...It's crazy. I had the most absurdly long post planned out today but now I just feel like a pina colada and some sweet sweet yaoi tiems because I'm bored.

well not bored per say, but The Emperor's New Groove lags in my DVD player and so I do not have much to do but spellcheck my blogposts.


...Which usually ends up a big flop anyway.



But that's OK, because I'm listening to Spirited Away's soundtrack, and that flute is so soothing I forget all about the ache in my shoulder and neck :)







anyway.

I think some people have a very altruistic view on the world? Yes I spelt that right. Thank you firefox automatic spellchecker.

Altruistic doesn't actually mean naive, or child-like. But I think it means...Simple, down to earth, fixed, stable. It's opposite, I think, would be cynical.

To put it simply, and Singaporeans you can relate to me on this: Black and White.
No grey area, no slack, no cutting corners.

This is this and that is that and there is nothing in between. Altruistic people will say, yes there is a fine line between love and hate but it's still a line dividing them and they will absolutely protest against the two mixing.

...I think.

I've only just come across the word altruistic once, in a chapter of Fugue. I'm still not very sure what it means, so...

-scurries off to check it in Merriam-Webster-





-----------














by the way, I found said Chapter of Fugue.
As usual, it moved me damn close to tears, even after, oh, I don't know, 100th re-read?
It doesn't help that I have Eminem's sobering 'Lose Yourself' playing in the background.


And surprisingly, when I looked at the Chapter drop down list, wondering which on earth the correct one was, one of them caught my eye.


: The Road Home.



I clicked it and found it was the right one.
Which goes to show just how off the trail I am.










▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

In retrospect, it was stupid idea to use the death note for a selfless purpose.
Someone as perceptive as Raito should have known that there is no such thing as true altruism,
but humans are all blind, no matter how much they think that they see the light.

So when the day comes that Raito's own name is written in the death note,it is surprising to him that the death note really affected nothing.
Humans would still murder and kill for the name of desperation, and Raito would be the one to pay for attempting to overthrow god, even if the world continued.

Raito wanders around as a shinigami between worlds, flesh slowly deteriorating, bones bleached through and eyes sunken
like lychee in the moonlight, exposing the decay of the soul underneath, true ugliness showing.

He used to believe that if someone would just kiss their eyes, like Christ to heal someone blind,
humans would be able to see their wretchedness as well.

There was a hot, dry cross-breeze that blew his decaying hair all in one direction, just like L's. Raito thought of L then, closed his eyes very, very briefly and wondered if Raito would ever see L again.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

[yes i'm blind too and i'm proud of it]

●●●●●●●●●●●

«you tell me you don't have faith that I know what it's like.

I tell you, I feel the same, and laugh.»

●

___________________________

We all gathered in a circle and handed numbers. Three numbers were called out every round and if we were that number, we had to get out of our chair and find another. Like musical chairs lol.
Freaking fun, that was :D

by the way I just realized; I'm going to Wellington Girls' next year. New Moon the movie will be about by about November 2009, which means by the time I start college Eclipse will be in production: Which means I will be stuck in a class full of girls who foam over Twilight and cull anyone who doesn't. OH GOD SOMEONE SAVE ME
___________________________

No wait. There are a few things I want from a lover.

1. I want to be able to mold him into my own little Quasimodo, and make him beautiful.

2. I want him to be able to leave me his stardust, not his accusing screams nor his pleads nor his 'whys.' I want him to let me be able to fly away to another galaxy if there's more room to fly, and him to be able to set sail to the west where the beaches are white. I want him to be able to leave me in my mismatched socks and not look back.

3. I want him to confuseღ me.

T н є я є 's a tradition in Bali, that once a child hits six months, they become human.

See the Balinese believe that, for the first half year that a baby lives, the young human is a god. At the transformation ceremony, the baby's feet touch the ground for the first time and junior is welcomed into the human race.

Sixteen years later, the same once-baby will very probably be swept off her feet by some dashing young stud. Feet that have forever been touched to the ground, like the hardworking realistic woman she's becoming.

Until, of course, inevitably she falls to the teenage trap of infatuation and flies off with random bucko. Her feet leave the floor. And she's already been cancelled off the list of gods, so it seems now she's not human, and the only one who sees her as a high deity is that stallion, that young, immature man.

Until, of course AGAIN, he goes and leaves her for another girl, like boys do. And she keeps holding on to that cloud, crying, neither human nor god.

what does this story teach us?

...not all clouds have a silver lining.

☆:x: _________________________________↓

Have you ever heard the saying that goes, 'there are no happy endings...because nothing ever ends'?

Which explains a lot, as I methodically and systematically take out every single Disney book I have, lay them to the last page and clearly see the heroine: who's just fallen (literally) into the muscular arms of the hero on his noble steed, introduced themselves, sang a duet together, and rode off into the sunset after knowing each other for five minutes. Their wedding is tomorrow, and all the stories, despite the slight variables, maddeningly, all end the same way.

'And they all lived happily ever after...THE END.'

I slam the books shut with a slight twitch at my mouth.
My, I must be going insane.

♣ღ

→(I'm hoping, that when or/and/ if I accidentally (or not?) die young, that in my last post I will be fortunate enough to quote one of the most tearjerking things I've ever read.

Oh but that's not likely to happen.
But there's nothing stopping me from quoting it now, is there?)

Life is a wheel: an obelisk of cycles. The news predicted rain. It always does, at least in their world.

-FIN-