disheveled.

that's precisely my fucking problem.

disheveled.

God, and I thought I was a Lit. Geek! Call me arrogant? Well yes, yes I am, quietly I admire myself incredibly when I feel I deserve it. Often, though, I'm later put in my place and realize how pathetic I am. The word disheveled is just a perfect example of it. I thought I knew what I meant, I saw it in SO. many. fics. but one day I was wondering, 'now how would I use it in an essay?' and ...

blank.

blank I had NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IT MEANT.

It's such a horrible and strange and amusing feeling. I can take a word that I've seen countless times, stored away permanently in memory banks, look at it for a minute and go, 'that means' - and I'm blank. So blank. All previous thoughts and ideas of what the word could mean go empty and I'm seriously grasping at straws. 'I don't know what it means' just runs through my head like a clear river. Because there's nothing there to block it. Empty. My vocab has immediately shrunken with this realization.



XD Oh, isn't it so strange. I think I know something, and when I think about the thing I allegedly know, I realize that I don't know it.