"The first kind of melancholy I mentioned is completely unproductive, and yet at the same time unavoidable. It's just something that ... happens. That kind of sadness is something that just is. Like rocks. They just...are.

The second kind, however, is...Depressingly uplifting. That makes no sense, but at the same time it's the most apt way I can describe it. It's kind of melancholy you get when you hear about someone fulfilling his death wish and dying happily. It's kind the kind of melancholy where you are the person fulfilling your death wish, and you die happily."

_____

Oooooo Christ I didn't even like it when it started, but it built up to something so magnificent. Their Love was tangible. And...and I see loopholes.

But for the first time I didn't even mind.

For The First Time Ever loopholes were...okay.

It was just too beautiful.

The final chapter had me accepting it; okay, sad ending.

And I did accept it.

It was a beautiful way to end it all. With a goodbye. With a fatal finality. And it was poetic justice, all of it.

I was pretty damn happy. Well okay no, I was ready to cry, but then: epilogue?

I'd always set it in my head that epilogues were stuff like Poison Apple's epilogue. A flashback, a time-jump scene from before, some memorable detail cleverly used to finally unleash the waterworks.

and by God it did come very close to unleashing waterworks.


I love sad endings, but... happy ones like this... oh Lord above.



'save me' did it. I was then reduced to a Christie-shaped emotional, writhing mess on my tabletop.


Ahhhhhh Love.



... okay, now that's off my chest. thank you for listening.

(but not off my mind)

Uhhh...

HELLO.

... 8)

God, my long absence. yes. i know. let's leave that out first, shall we? because i'm kinda in a...rather emotional state right now.

i went to youtube. nothing. refreshed about 4 times. nobody really was online on msn. deviantart was out of the question. ff.net? that's the cause for all this. kol...wasn't in the mood.

so i came here.

simply because i needed somewhere to vent...like i'm quite choked up and such.

phew.


okay.

i feel better.

... much better.




... :)



listening to rock from rise against probably helped that too...




fuck damnnnnn.


uhhh it feels so strange to talk about this. but it's choked me up in the most UNBELIEVABLE way.


Beautiful Disaster is actually a lot like Poison Apple I think!